So I meant to write this a few weeks back sorry I'm just getting to this. So after seeing "For Colored Girls" directed by Tyler Perry I was so drained. For those who didn't know this is based off of a play/book from 1974. So they adapted it to a more current movie. I thought they did a great job, from the few excerpts I have read, they did a great job of modernizing the play.
IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ANY DETAILS OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, DO NOT READ ANYMORE. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE MOVIE TO SEE IF YOU WOULD WANT TO SEE IT CONTINUE TO READ.
Some people thought that maybe because of the title that they shouldn't go see it, I think everyone should experience this movie. It will open your eyes to some of the struggles and some of the issues that people go through. There was nothing in this movie that people of other nationalities couldn't relate to in some form. Yes it was a Black cast but there were issues in it that happen to ANYONE. The women in these stories all had different issues from dealing with, rape by someone you thought you knew, to young girls having to abort an unwanted pregnancy, a woman who learns that her husband is cheating on her with men and contracting AIDS, a woman who is promiscuous and doesn't even know why she does the things she chooses to do, a woman who continuously goes back to a man who is a liar, cheater, and just doesn't know what he wants, a woman who learns she cannot have children because of a STD that she contracted from a man she loved in previous years, and finally a woman who is in a abusive relationship with a former Vet and then witnesses her children being murdered by their father. I mean I haven't personally gone through any of these situations, but I do know women who have. There are bits and pieces of a lot of the stories that I could relate to. It was informative, emotional and disturbing.
This wasn't about male bashing but it did involve men who were doing things that maybe they should have thought about. One man was very supportive throughout the film so we did get to see a very positive relationship that dealt with the couple who found out they couldn't have children. I have read things that were written about this movie from friends, and random people that shock me. We are so closed minded and so afraid to deal with the real issues that somehow some people walked away with the idea that this isn't what people are going through, that they didn't portray "Real Colored Girls". This is BULLSHIT! Yes some of us are blessed enough to not have gone through things like this but unfortunately there are a lot more women who are going through these issues than we would like to believe.
Lets breakdown some of these stories.
The woman who was raped was a very common story. She met a man who she thought was really nice, charming and respectful and after getting to know him a little and walking with him to work she finally decides to go on a date with him. They have a GREAT first date and for the second date decides to cook for him at her place. He gets there and she is cooking and they are talking, and laughing and she has made if clear that she isn't trying to get physical. All of a sudden this dude starts to undress and tells her that he knows she wants to have sex and then starts to attack her and rape her. WHAT!!!!!! I mean she didn't see it coming at all, he changed so quick but unfortunately this has happened to women of every race. There are so many people being abused, molested, raped by people they know, sometimes family members. Do you know how many young girls I have found out were raped, and molested by people they new, and trusted. I mean this shit happens, PLEASE don't walk around with rose colored glasses and think that it doesn't.
The next woman we are gonna talk about is the uptight, bitchy CEO of a Magazine company with the nice house the FINE husband. She seems to have everything she wants, but she is cold and distant throughout the movie not to mention she has this cough throughout the film. SO eventually they show the husband checking out men, making out with a man in a car and just being distant from his wife. So they reveal that not only is he a gay man(who is in denial that he is gay, and just says that sometimes he likes dudes) RIGHT!!!!...lol....but she gets tested and reveals to him that she has HIV. This is now a very common issue in African American households. Our men are supposed to be strong and taking care of their women, and it isn't as acceptable to be an openly gay make in our community so these men are lying and cheating on their wives, and girlfriends because we don't make them feel like its OK to be themselves. SO from that comes the DOWN LOW man. Which is also why Black women are one of the highest percentages in people contacting AIDS. There is a whole epidemic going on right now because we wont accept our men the way we should sometimes. Maybe they would be more comfortable being themselves.
SO then there is the woman who is trying to have children with her husband. They seem to have a great relationship but they go to the doctors and she finds out there is permanent scaring on her uterus so she is unable to have kids. All of the scaring came from a previous boyfriend she had in college and he cheated on her with her two friends and she contacted an STD from it. This is some real shit. This happens often because not only are people cheating and lying they are not using protection. Fuck trust, PROTECT YOURSELVES. If u have issues with your man, or feel some type of way about him why in the world would you not use a condom. Yes people slip up, but damn if you always questioning your man about something USE PROTECTION, or get the hell out the relationship. So many people are having babies and contracting STDs by men they don't trust, YOU ARE BLINDED BY LOVE!!!! You are making decisions based only on emotions that's it. TRUST YOURSELVES, PROTECT YOURSELVES.
Then there is the young girl, who just graduated from High School, and is talking about this wild night she had and has sex with him. She didn't use protection and ends up getting pregnant. She goes to her jacked up sister for help and she tells her that she had an abortion in this janky ass apartment years ago. So the young girl goes there alone and is in a room with this crazy lady and gets the abortion. Leaves and passes out in the alley and ends up in the hospital. Now if she would have had some family support maybe she would not have done that in that way. SO many people are having abortions and I'm on the fence about it. But to go to a scary , janky place to have one isn't the answer. Now if she would have used protection she may not be going through this. This is VERY VERY VERY common. And people don't always talk about it but there are so many women who go through this. SO many teens going through this so this was very realistic scenario. ONCE AGAIN! USE PROTECTION.
SO then there is the women who is the sister of the young girl and she is a hot mess. She has sex with just anyone. Gets what she wants and kicks them out. She is pretty much one of the most destructive chicks on this movie. Cause she thinks she likes her life but she is a crabby bitch to everyone. Including her sister. Hates her sister because of all these family issues. They have a CRAZY ass mother who is too concerned about her Religion that she isn't even paying attention to her daughters for real. So many women just give themselves to anyone and never think about the consequences to their actions. You cant' find self worth through your vagina.
Then there is an older woman who is constantly taking back this dog of a man every time they get back together, he moves in and then when he is ready to go he packs his shit and leaves to go to another woman. Gets sick of her then begs for the woman's forgiveness and then lets him move back in. Every time this happen a piece of her vanishes. She is so heartbroken because she puts her all into it and for what!!! To let him come in and use her and then leave her high and dry when he is done, or bored. Now how many times does that happen. A LOT!!!!! Women allow that to happen to them all the time. I am guilty of that as well. WE need to understand that isn't love its addiction. Being in love is like a drug and some how we have learned how to have HEALTHY LOVE. We overindulge in love sometimes that we lose ourselves and our self respect.
The last woman I believe had the most disturbing story. She was the assistant to the women at the Magazine company. She has two young children and their father is a Veteran. He is also mentally unstable and an alcoholic. He beats her, and I'm not sure if he hits the kids. But he is always accusing the mother of cheating, or not loving him enough. This is clearly a situation that she should have gotten our of. So the biggest argument was something he mad up in his head. She came home to get something for her boss who is in the car downstairs waiting for her to come back. The husband starts acting crazy, he is drunk calls he a whore and said he thought his boss was a woman. SHE WAS but he saw the driver of the car who was a man and starts accusing her of cheating, in front of the kids this escalated to him holding the kids out of the window by one hand on each of them and drops them out the window. These two kids were murdered because this woman didn't know how to leave this crazy man. Yes that was extreme but it happens. She put her kids in danger because she loved him so much, and was scared of him, but somehow couldn't let go of him so her and her kids could have a healthy life. NO MAN is worth losing your kids, your spirit, your dignity, your strength all because you love him. Women stay in these abusive situations because they are scared, or don't feel like they are worthy of being loved. It was devastating to watch.
So after reading this do you see why I'm so mad that some women thought it wasn't relatable. Its a movie so it has to be more dramatic, but really this is the reality of a lot of women, Not just Black women either. it would be interesting to see what men would think about these stories, they may see themselves in it, it could be a wake up call. It could open men's eyes to some of the things women are going through. It may make women realize that we should be understanding of other women because they may be going through something that we cant understand or that we can relate to. So pay attention. Understand your self worth !!!!!
