"Its His Loss"....You know this is a very common response from your friends, family after a break up, or when you dating someone and it doesn't work out, Or you feeling someone and it doesn't go the way you wanted, Or when they chose someone else over you. But what I have always felt about that response was, it doesn't make me feel any better...LOL. Its like when someone close to you dies and they say "they are in a better place"...But at that time you don't feel like that at all. So I want someone to really break that down to me in a different way. I want someone to respond differently and say something like "You are the shit, and he is a complete dick head for not seeing that"...LOL.
The reason I am addressing this is because I currently have been through a few situations and those were the responses I got from my very very close friends. I know it was out of love, I know they meant every word. But I wanted to say that shit doesn't make me feel better. I feel like I'm the one who is going through a loss, I feel like I'm in mourning, I feel like I lost a limb, I feel like I just got buried, I feel like I just loss the person who I thought I may have a future with. Yes I absolutely understand why people say that "Its their loss" cause they are missing out on the great person you are. Maybe we aren't the perfect fit, and maybe there is a whole list of reasons we shouldn't be together, but at that moment all you feel is the LOSS. All you feel is the VOID.
It's his Loss but he is walking around, possibly happy with the person he chose to be with, or walking around happy by himself. Or walking around miserable, but the thing is, I DON'T FEEL BETTER. There is no weight lifted off of me I just feel the void. The Void he took up, the Void that was once filled with possibilities.
It's crazy what feelings do to a person. I am the type of person that once I come to terms with the reality of a situation I'm good, but before I get to that place its like I'm walking around at my own funeral that is currently taken place in my heart. Yes I said it, a FUNERAL. That's what it feels like sometimes. People giving their condolences and leaving flowers. Coming to say their last words to an open casket that has me in it, ALIVE!!! You love this person, you will do anything for them, but somehow they just don't see it, I'm breathing but they have pronounced me DEAD. He pulls the plug even though the doctors say I have a fighting chance. It's like he has completely overlooked the fact that he is the reason that I'm fighting to stay alive (figure of speech). He was the one giving me the fighting chance and just bailed didn't even wait to hear or deal with all the endless possibilities to bring me back to life.
Yes its a little dramatic but being buried alive is scary.
Let's stop saying this response to men and women. I have caught myself saying the same thing to my friends when they are going through a rough time, and I realize now when you are going through that Loss you really don't wanna hear what that other person is missing out on. I know I'm a great woman, I know what I have to offer, and Lord willing I will be presented with the man who can handle the love I have to offer. I know that I can be intense sometimes but that's just me, I LOVE HARD! Its pure, and real, and yes you will definitely regret pulling the plug on me because I fight hard to breathe on my own. But until I can really look at this from the outside in, I will just be wearing Black.
I like, I Like. Fuck colors tho. Wear your black the way you feel like wearing it. If you had green on, it could still be black.You can turn any situation into what you want it to be, just like you can change your color.
ReplyDeleteTo anything that ends there is some level of grieving. I don't think anything anyone says will really be able to keep you from having to go through the process. We have to be real careful about who we give our heart to and make sure they were deserving of the honor in the first place !
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS ON THE ONE!!! I'm that friend who says "it just wasn't meant to be" instead of it's his loss. What I've realized about relationships now is that when it's over, if you don't grieve, you do all kind of other mess and that starts drama. And can lead to all kind of other craziness. You have to wear black, get over it, and move on. That's the process. NICE READ KOYA!
ReplyDeleteTHANKS guys Glad you enjoyed. People always think Im only writing these for myself and about myself but really its a common thread between ALL PEOPLE. And I know so many people who feel this way I just decided to write about it..lol
ReplyDeleteYou already know how I feel about this...LOVE IT! Put so eloquently.
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